Adoption Talk Thursdays: The Book

I have not been the best at keeping up with my blog lately.  I am not concerned though.............there are definitely more important priorities in my life.  It has been fun to share my experiences and the things I am learning and I really enjoying writing when I am able. 

I am getting very excited because next month we are approaching Little A's "gotcha day", a term that I have heard people use when referring to the adoption finalization day.  I am not sure what we are going to call that special day yet, but we have decided it is definitely something we want to celebrate as a family.  She officially became our daughter forever on April 20, 2010 (although she was our daughter from the moment we saw her).  In the future, I would really like to celebrate this day by letting Little A choose a place she wants our family to go out out to eat, followed by a small gift (maybe a meaningful book), and then I would like to tell her the story of her life. 

K-lady and W-man really enjoy the nights when we tell them their own "stories".......about my pregnancy with them, how they were born, what they were like.  I haven't started telling Little A her story yet, but I know the time is coming soon.  To assist in telling her story, I thought it would be helpful to make a little book with pictures, some words, etc. to show her how much she is loved, special, and has her own unique story, just as her older siblings do. I have been thinking about this book for the past year, but finally sat down and made a book on Shutterfly this week.  I LOVE how it turned out.  I wish I could share a link on here, but if you want to see the book, you will just have to come over for a cup of coffee sometime :)   I am planning to read this book to her each year on her special day. My desire is to share a simple story when she is little, and add in more detail as she grows older.  There are some special pictures in this book that I have never shared with anyone before (i.e. never before seen footage) :)  I think she is going to appreciate having this book and these pictures someday.  I was even able to get several pictures of her birthmom, her half sister,  and one of her birthfather.   And of course the book is filled with beautiful pictures of her first year of life!  I won't lie, I was in tears by the time I finished making the book.

If you have a special day for your adopted child, what do you call it?  What do you do to celebrate?  I feel like this is almost like a birthday for her.  I am very excited, can you tell??? 

Grateful to the Lord for what He has orchestrated,
Sarah

Adoption Talk Thursdays: Transracial Adoption Thoughts

My mind is spinning and I feel a little bit like my face is stinging from a hard slap. I think it was a needed slap and the type of sting to open my eyes and my mind.  I didn't realize that there has existed such controversy over the issue of transracial adoption.  I have personally never seen why it would even be an issue. I decided to read a book called, "In Their Own Voices: Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Stories."  This book, although painful to read at times, has been eye opening and challenging.  I found this book while perusing blogs of families who have adopted children of other races. I know that I personally do not struggle with racism or feeling superior to any other human being, but this book gave me many other perspectives that I had not previously considered. In Part 2, of this book, they are actually interviewing many young adults who were of different races and adopted into white families.  I haven't finished reading it yet, but I am enjoying learning through their experiences and reading their thoughts, feelings, and perspectives.  The book also addresses concerns I have thought about as Little A grows older, such as how it will feel to her to be surrounded by white people much of her childhood, or how she will be accepted by other blacks. From all the reviews, it sounded like it was a "must-read" type of book. Here is a link to the book:

I feel like this would be a good book for anyone to read, but especially if you are considering doing a transracial adoption or if you have already done one. For us, we didn't go out seeking a child of a race different than our own. We just left things open and Little A's birth mom chose our family.  Little A is a gift from God, and we also believe God chose her for our family.   I have always viewed people as people.....just unique in the outer appearances.  I completely look past color of skin, because after all, don't we all have different shades, tones, and colors??  After reading this book, though, I realized that could be a somewhat naive statement.

Reading this book stretched me to think beyond my own perspective. For one thing, maybe I have never had a problem with racism, but it isn't necessarily right for me to just brush it off and think it doesn't matter.  I realized after reading this book, that I will never fully know what it is like to walk in Little A's shoes.  I will never know what it feels like to look completely different than your entire family, your friends, and community.  I will have no idea what it would feel like to go through identity issues as a teenager, not only as an adoptee, but also being from a different race.  Through it all, though, I do believe that God is greater than all that, and I know that He has a special plan for Little A's life.  I know that He will give us the wisdom and direction with how to handle different issues as they come up.  I am thankful for the fresh perspective from this book, though.  I am encouraged to be Little A's advocate through her entire life.  I am encouraged to let Little A pursue her heritage and culture as she desires.  I don't want to just pretend like we are all exactly the same in our family, because we are not.  But at the same time, Little A is fully our beloved child!!    I desire to raise Little A to know how loved and special she is, by both her birthmom and by us.  I desire for her to know how much Jesus loves her.  I want to help her in the best way possible as she develops her own identity.  I want her to have friends and role models who look like her. I am searching my heart and praying for God to provide these things.  I think it will be challenging at times as she grows older, but completely attainable.

The most encouraging thing I have read from the book is that all of the adoptees (they were all adopted into families of different race than themselves) ultimately agreed that being placed in a loving family was the best thing that could have happened to them.  They have all agreed that while it might have been nice to be in a family of same color, it wasn't the most important thing at all.  They all expressed love and appreciation for their adoptive parents.  I am most of all clinging to the fact, that I can tell Little A someday about my adoption too...........that I became a daughter of God through the work of His Son, Jesus, on the cross.  I know that there are going to be obstacles and challenges...........but I also know that God has a plan in the life of our family.  I am trusting Him to provide us with friends, resources, whatever we might need to help Little A grow and develop in a way that is meaningful to her and shows her how much she is loved, cherished and special.   Reading this book was helpful, but I am thankful my greatest council comes from God's Word.

Does anyone know of any other good books regarding transracial adoption?  What about transracial adoption from a biblical perspective?

We love you so much, Little A!!  You are beautiful :)

Adoption Talk Thursdays: Provisions

I have to start by saying that I am so grateful to be able to share about adoption. I have so much to learn, especially as Little A grows older, but I have been blessed and encouraged by emails from people lately. I love hearing stories of how some of you are considering adoption for the first time or even the fourth time. :) It is so exciting to meet new people and hear about their passion for adoption. It has been fun and helpful to exchange hair ideas with a few of you. I also love learning from your examples of fostering and international adoption; some of you have stretched my heart in new ways.

I wanted to share an example today of how the Lord continually provides for our family. He provided the funds to be able to do an adoption and He continually provides for our family each day. As you all know, it gets expensive to clothe and provide for multiple children, but we obviously wouldn't have it any other way. :):). I always want my children to look nice and feel good about themselves, but I also like to find good sales, deals, or even used clothing when possible. Each time a new season approaches, it always seems a little daunting to stock up on clothing for the appropriate size and price for the children. This week at ballet, one of the moms came up to me with a HUGE bag of clothes for Little A. She had saved all the best of her daughter's clothes and they are all in excellent condition and some even with tags still attached.  All matching sets from Gymboree and Ralph Lauren, etc. The colors are going to look so nice on Little A too!! I am so grateful for generous people!! I am grateful for how the Lord always provides for us.



Little A modeling one of her "new outfits"...the sleeves are a bit long, but she will grow right into it :)



 Here is a picture of the clothing piles after I looked at each of them last night....what a blessing!!

I also wanted to share a sweet little story from last night. With it being tax season, bedtime routines can be a little exhausting for me. I have been trying to be a little creative lately and change things up, so that the kids can have fun and not miss their Daddy too much. Last night, we decided to put Little A to bed first. K-lady read her a story and then wanted to hold Little A and pray for her before bedtime. It was so sweet to see K-lady trying to hold her like a little baby, even though she is now 16 months old. Little A completely enjoyed that and let her big sister hold her, rock her, and sing to her. Then K-lady prayed something like this, " Dear Jesus. Thank you for my baby sister. Thank you that her birth mom picked us out to be her family. I love her so much and I am so glad she is my sister. I pray that she will have a wonderful life and thanks for her." Then of course, W- man wanted his turn.......I wish I would have had my camera, but I didn't want to ruin the moment. W-man tried to hold her the same way, but I had to help a little because Little A is growing closer to his size now. :). Little A let both of them hold her like a baby, which was hilarious because she is normally high energy and busy all day. It was adorable!! W-man said, "Dear Jesus. Thank you for Little A. I like her. Amen.". It was a seriously precious moment that I will remember forever. Then we sang a couple of songs together and tucked her in her crib. This morning when she woke up, she ran right to her Daddy and squeezed his leg until he picked her up. She is definitely a Daddy's girl and was a little sad when he had to go to work. She is such a blessing to our family. I am grateful for the Lord's provision of her to our family. I am grateful for her birth mom's bravery and courage in making the decision that she did. I am grateful for how the Lord can create families to be unique and beautiful!!

Have a fabulous week everyone! Keep sharing your stories and prayer requests with me about adoption. I love to see how God is working in your hearts.

Adoption Talk Thursdays: Hair and Happenings

I am excited to share a couple of new tips that I have found to be helpful for the styling and care of Little A's hair. I genuinely love to learn about her hair and have had fun taking care of it. The best product I have found this week came from a suggestion that I read on: Happy Girl Hair.  I ordered this leave in conditioner right away from Amazon and started using it one week ago. Here is the link: Nature's Baby Organics Conditioner and Detangler   I got the vanilla tangerine scent and it is so yummy!! K-lady thought that I was baking muffins when I was putting some in Little A's hair one day this week :):). This all natural product is seriously amazing. I feel like Little A's hair has been softer and had more defined little ringlets this week. So beautiful!!! I had to share about this because I will definitely be purchasing more when we run out.

There was another article that I read this week discussing the idea of detangling or finger styling each day (especially when just wearing the hair out and not in a style). "Curls Will Be Curls-Saying No to Daily Detangling"  I really liked this article, because for many days I have been trying to pic or lightly comb out her hair each morning when I moisturize it. I realized, after reading this, that I may be actually causing more damage. This week I have just tried to use my fingers to style and gently spread out the curls, and it is working nicely. I accessorize with different clips and headbands each day, but I really like how it is looking.

I am also excited that I get to attend an "Adoption Loving Mamas" coffee/hang out/get together this weekend here locally. It is open to all foster, adoptive, or mamas with a heart for adoption. If you are reading this and would like more info on time and location, please let me know. I am looking forward to the encouragement and fellowship and even sharing of ideas. My heart remains open to the possibility of adoption someday again, but I am leaving that in the Lord's hands. For now, I am thankful to be able to encourage other families who are beginning this process or in the middle of it. I am also excited to meet other people with adopted children, because I think that could be important for Little A as she grows older.

Here is a picture of our Little A the first weekend she was born.   Her birthmom is such an amazing person that we have such respect for.  We were privileged to watch Little A come into this world and bond with her immediately in the hospital.   I wanted to post this picture as a reminder to myself of this precious gift of life!!  I am excited to see how God is going to work in her life. 

Adoption Talk Thursdays: Our littlest Valentine



Little A all dressed up for our school Valentine party on Tuesday with our CC group.....tried to do some little "twists" in her hair with a poof on top.........she is beautiful!!



Giving me a half smile, but not too thrilled that I am trying to take her picture.



Mommy......please quit taking my picture. 



Final pic of our littlest Valentine.  She is such a gift!! We love her so much!!



Adoption Talk Thursdays: My curly girls

     Happy Thursday to everyone!!! I am looking forward to sharing some basic ideas with you about adoption and hair care on Thursdays. I hope to even start meeting some people who would allow me to share their adoption story in order to inspire you and possibly help you take a step of faith and start the adoption or fostering process.
     First of all, I love the above photo of my curly girls taken this morning. I love it that they both have curly hair and that they even look like blood related sisters. As crazy as that may sound, I feel like they favor each other in some ways. I have even had a couple of people comment on pictures that they resemble each other. Even if you don't agree with me, or think I am losing my mind, we can all agree that adoption is an amazing thing and that they are fully sisters, whether they share the same genes or not. It is an awesome picture of how God has adopted us as his sons and daughters and given us full rights to His kingdom and to Himself. He doesn't care where I am from, what I have done, or what I look like.  Out of His great love, He has made me His child. Adoption gives us that physical picture on earth. The Lord has blessed us with a daughter whom we can love, nurture, teach, and it doesn't matter if she came from my womb or not. She is our precious child in every way and she has full rights to being a member of our family. I am glad that I can tell Little A someday that I was adopted too.
     The hair care is a big priority for me with Little A. I don't think it is necessarily because I care what people think of me, but I feel like it is going to be very important to her someday. I have so much to learn, so as you read this, don't consider me the expert by any means. In fact, I am very open to suggestions or ideas, especially if you have similar hair to Little A's. I am in anticipation of the day when her hair grows longer and I can create or copy some fun styles, but for right now, we are just focusing on hydration and taking care of the short hair that she does have.
     My two curly girls both usually start the day of hair styling with their own spray bottle. K-lady's is a red bottle with plain water, and Little A's is a blue bottle with a natural conditioner mixed with water. It smells nice and seems to help re-hydrate her hair each morning. I only wash Little A's hair once per week with shampoo (I like to use Herbal Essences shampoo, especially the one for hydration, followed by the Island Naturals conditioner pictured above. I actually love how her hair feels the day before I wash it....has so much softness, moisture, and natural oil in it. I like to style her hair while it is still damp and I usually put an olive oil type of product in her hair to keep it soft. (it is pictured above in the green container). I use a wide tooth pic and comb very gently starting at the end and working my way up. I am mainly using small barrettes, flowers, clips, and soft head bands, and occasionally will do little puffs with the rubber bands. I found the rubber banded style was pulling too tightly on her hair line, so I am avoiding these kinds of styles until she grows more hair. I can't wait to try more styles as her hair grows. Sometimes at bedtime, I put a little bit of the coconut oil (pictured above) in her hair. She also sleeps on a satin pillowcase because she won't keep any kind of cap on her head at night....this is to prevent matting, tangling and hair breakage.
     Many of my ideas were taken from various blogs on ethnic haircare, but two of my favorite are: Happy Girl Hair: Natural Hair Care for Kids http://www.happygirlhair.com/.............and Beads, Braids, and Beyond. http://www.beadsbraidsbeyond.blogspot.com/  
     I have a lot to learn, but this has been very fun!!  I hope that I can possibly help someone else with some ideas or at least provide links to the blogs that are completely devoted to natural ethnic hair care.  Send me your ideas or suggestions to improve what we are doing! 
Love,
The Curly girls (all three of us) :)

Adoption love

I am beginning to imagine how nice it would be to have a certain topic for my blog on each day of the week. I don't want to make this too structured, but I think it would be great to have a framework.  I am completely open to suggestions and ideas on what topics you would like covered.

This is what I was thinking:
Mondays: Favorite recipes of the week
Tuesdays: Homeschooling confessions
Wednesdays:  The Word on Wednesday
Thursdays:  Adoption love & hair care
Fridays: Fun Fridays with our Family

Maybe on the weekend, I could share about the Lord's work in our church plant at Covenant Creek Community Church or even share what I am learning through this.

I would love other suggestions too, so please leave me a comment!!!  I am so new to the blogging world, but am excited to share what I know and learn in humility from others. 

Since today is a Thursday, I will share a picture from this week that makes me smile. :)  The Lord has blessed our family in so many ways through the life of this sweet little girl.  I would love to share our story, and maybe at times I will share parts of it with you.  But it is mostly her story that God is writing for her life.  I want to let her share what she wants,  as she grows older.  I know the Lord has a great plan for her life and I am just thankful He has allowed us to be her mommy and daddy and that He has joined her into our family forever.  We will also always have great respect for her birthmom.   K-lady loves to do "girly things" with Little A.  This week she decided to dress her up and take pictures of her.  This picture was taken by K-lady. 

We love you so much, Little A!!!

Free audio download

I loved this book "Adopted for Life". There is a free audio download today if you go to this link. Check it out.......

http://christianaudio.com/adopted-for-life-russell-moore


Happy reading!!