Wednesdays in the Word: LOVE Love love

What is love? What comes to your mind when you hear that word? What does love look like in your family? What does love look like with your spouse? What about with your friends? What or whose example do you follow for how you love?

This week I have been studying this topic of LOVE, and it has been such an encouraging week, especially after just studying the topic of communication. I left the communication study still feeling like I needed more application, but then when we moved into the topic of love, I felt like it all came together for me. In addition, we discussed the fulfillment of the law through love from Galatians chapter 6, at our church this past Saturday night. This also ties in with what Paul says in Romans 13:8, "Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law." I am looking forward to sharing some of what the Lord has taught me this past week about love. There is SO much in the Bible on this topic, but I will try to keep it somewhat focused and narrowed and discuss what specifically impacted me.

Contrary to what our culture says, love is NOT about me. In fact, love is servanthood. It may not be a popular message in our current culture, when we are living in such an individualistic and self seeking society. It probably wasn't a popular message even back in ancient Roman times when Jesus walked the earth. This week in Kay Arthur's "A Marriage Without Regrets" study, I looked at a variety of New Testament passages using the word, love. I specifically studied the Greek word, Agape and how it was used in many different verses, as well as the Greek word, Phileo. Agape basically means unconditional love....love that keeps going, regardless of how the object receives it and regardless of if they are deserving or worthy of it. It delights in giving. The Greek word, Phileo, basically means a companion type of love. Kenneth Wuest says, "It is a love that is called out of one's heart as a response to the pleasure one takes in a person or object." Through all the verses, I studied the commonalities that they shared; specifically the source of love, the object receiving the love, the behavior, the extent, and the circumstances surrounding the text. (per Kay Arthur's suggestion). I found that the source of Agape love always came from God. Sometimes the source appeared to be one believer to another, but when I would read the whole context surrounding the verses, I would find that the Spirit was providing the power to love in that way. The true source for Agape love was always from God or His Spirit and it was an unconditional and persevering type of love. It encouraged me that I don't have to try to love that way in my own strength, because there is no way I ever could. We are commanded to love each other with an Agape kind of love, and God gives us the power to do that. 

I then went on to study 1 Corinthians 13 about the characteristics of love. I spent a couple of days praying over this list and thinking about it within my own life, especially considering my relationships with my spouse, my children, my church family, my friends, and just people in general. It was a great passage to end the study and I know the Lord is using it to cause change and growth in my life.  I know this is an ever-popular verse that many people have memorized, but take a couple of minutes today and read through it again with a heart open to the Lord. 

I also learned that love isn't always joyous and pleasant. Love is painful and uses discipline when needed. I will have to suffer and endure hardships but I can be thankful because I know that God loves me as His dear child and He uses it for my good.  Hebrews 12:6 "because the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son." 

I think one of the biggest things that I am learning involves the body of Christ and how much we all need one another. Sometimes it becomes so natural in our culture to think of our own "personal relationship" with Christ, when really, I don't think that should be the focus. This life isn't just about me and my own relationship with God. To really love others with an Agape love, I need to be in close community and fellowship with them. How can we do this in our current culture? Just food for thought, but can we achieve this by simply showing up for church service every week? Can we achieve it by doing good things for others? How do we achieve close community and the ability to lovingly call out sin and confess our own sins if we are not knowing one another deeply? Is our primary reason for going to church to be filled up, fed, and to provide our kids with some teaching about Jesus? We really need to get in closer community and fellowship to truly be able to love the way we are commanded. I realize this could possibly be controversial or offensive to some, but I am honestly sharing what I am learning to help people examine their own hearts and lives. I have a lot to learn in this area, but I am seeing the priority of loving others with an Agape love that comes from the power of the Spirit.  

1 John 3:16, "This is how we know what love is:  Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.  And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." 

Wednesdays in the Word: Honeycomb Words

Proverbs 16:24  "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."

This week I have been studying the topic of communication, through Kay Arthur's marriage study called "A Marriage Without Regrets"  This verse, found in Proverbs,  has given our family such joy and encouragement this week.  I wrote it on a large index card and put it on our dining room table, and we are helping each other to memorize it this week. I have seriously noticed a "healing effect" in our family life this past couple of days, just by being more aware of the words we speak.

I keep picturing a honeycomb full and overflowing with sweet honey and it has helped me to be more aware of the words I speak to my children and to my husband.  I have noticed the kids being more aware of how they speak to one another. In general, there has been a feeling of "sweetness" towards one another in our family.  It is refreshing and uplifting.  Our words can either be used to damage, or to build up another person.  I have always known this, but after studying the topic of communcation this week, I was challenged NOT to be reckless with my words.  The words that come from our mouths all go hand in hand with what is in our hearts.  I posted yesterday about walking in the Spirit, and I feel like that topic carries into today.  I can't speak careful words and words that build someone else up, without the help of the Holy Spirit.  I need to ABIDE in Christ, to be able to bear this kind of fruit. (John 15:4-5). There is a lady I went to college with and she has actually been blogging about the topic of abiding this past month.  You should check out her blog for more on that subject:  Kristi Stephens   My mouth overflows from what is in my heart.  I desire to be overflowing with sweet and pleasant words that heal and not destroy. 

I don't know about you, but communication in a marriage is hard work.  Adding multiple kids to the  picture, along with added life pressures can make it sometimes seem that no communication at all would almost be a better option.  Obviously ceasing to communicate wouldn't solve anything, so how do we communicate openly, honestly, and with love?  Kay Arthur challenged us to ask God to show us how we "come across" to other people....especially our mate, or our childen, or even other intimate relationships that might show how you communicate.  She said that communcation is a delicate art.  I agree with that statement wholeheartedly, and after studying many verses and spending time in prayer, I realized I am in need of some art lessons :) I am eagerly anticipating our small group discussion for this week so that we can share our ideas and what the Lord is teaching us in this area.   

I really want to share EVERYTHING that I read and learned this week, but I would probably lose some readers or risk putting some of you to sleep.   If you have ever thought about getting this study, I would highly recommend it, even if just for this week of "communication" alone. I feel like anyone: single, married, widowed, divorced, etc. could benefit from a thorough study on the topic of communication.

I especially wanted to share this one little verse from Proverbs that I have noticed has had a transformative effect on our family this week.  I hope it can bring some encouragement to your homes and to your lives.  What are some of your ideas on how to communicate in your homes?  What verses do you teach your children to encourage them in this area?   What is in your heart?  What are your words revealing about what is in your heart? 

I was talking to K-lady this morning about pleasant words and she decided that she wanted to draw a picture of our family communcating together. I will leave you with this :) :)

School Adventure Tuesdays: Mid-Semester break & desires

Although this week began with colder weather, copious amounts of rain, and gray skies, it has also come with a mini break from our school routine. We are having a mid-semester break alongside our Classical Conversations homeschool group. When I originally saw the schedule, I didn't really think I would want the break. I figured that I would rather get done earlier, especially when it starts warming up outside.

However, I am in a slump with school this week, so I am very thankful for a small and timely break. I honestly feel that the break is helping me to slow down, re-focus, re-energize, and simply enjoy my kids. I feel like when I slow down and don't have to stick to a certain agenda or a task checklist for the day, that I can be more creative and sometimes more patient with the kids. We didn't work through any particular "curriculum" yesterday, but we seemed to read a lot more together and have more time to discuss the things we read. For example, K-lady saw a short chapter book about Abraham Lincoln, from the library bag sitting in our living room. She became very interested and decided to sit down and read the book. We read parts of it together and she read some on her own, but she really enjoyed retelling the story to me and highlighting her favorite things about his life. On her own, she connected some of the events in the book with some of the events we have memorized in our history timeline. It was a blessing to see her making the connections and truly having an enjoyment for learning. We also spent some time having family worship last night: singing songs and Bible reading/acting. We try to do this somewhat regularly, but it felt like we had more time and freedom to be creative and not rush to get to bed. I desire to experience this freedom, creativity, and slower pace on a daily basis. I just haven't learned how to do that yet. I feel so much inward pressure sometimes to achieve certain goals with schooling at home or to not "fall behind", but I can also suck the joy out of learning by being so task driven. I am thankful for this week because I feel like it is giving me a chance to see how much my kids enjoy learning without the pressure of a strict schedule and time constraints. I desire to find the balance between schedules/time constraints and the freedom that comes by doing school at home. I know that we need to be diligent with our work, yet I desire joy and love to be present in all that we do.

I am thankful that I don't need to work harder or feel like I have to figure it all out on my own. When I slow down and rely on the Holy Spirit, He is transforming me. I know why I struggle from what Paul writes in Galatians; that the desires of my flesh are fighting a battle with the Spirit. In addition, I know that my flesh has been crucified with it's passions and desires (Galatians 5:24). How do I win the battle? How do I teach and train my children with freedom? Paul answers this in Galatians 5 by repeating these phrases, "Walk by the Spirit, be led by the Spirit, live by the Spirit, keep in step with the Spirit.". There is no law for the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

We have been studying the book of Galatians together in our church, Covenant Creek Community Church and I have been thankful for the teaching and instruction we have received these past three months. Our teaching elder from this past weekend was preaching on this text that I have been discussing,  from Galatians 5.  He pointed out that the word "works" (as in the works of our flesh)is plural, because it is done by us, but the word, "fruit" is singular because it is done by God. That displays freedom to me!! Another way to think of the fruit of the Spirit is to compare it to a bunch of grapes.....there are many attributes(love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, etc) but they all come from ONE stem or vine. I have been challenged and encouraged this week to look at my desires because we all have desires.  We have the basic desires of needing air to breathe and needing sleep when we are exhausted.  As our teaching elder pointed out, our whole day is made up of desires.  What are my desires? Am I keeping in step with the Spirit or are my desires reflecting the old nature? 

I am happy for a chance to refocus my thoughts and desires this week.  I am learning to live moment by moment. I wanted to encourage anyone reading this post through simple truths the Lord is revealing to me. What are your desires? 

Remember......."It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.". Gal. 5:1.

Wednesdays in the Word: Delightful hands and heart

     As I stated yesterday, I have been studying Proverbs 31 this week, regarding the topic of "The Model Woman," from a Kay Arthur inductive study on, A Marriage Without Regrets. I am hoping that my transparency and honesty through what I am learning is going to encourage other women who may have similiar struggles as me. I never want to come across as "preachy" or a "know it all.". I feel that the Lord wants me to share what I am studying and what He is revealing to me. I am not pretending that I have it all together. I really don't. It is only by God's grace that He has made me into His beloved child......only by His love that I have a future hope......only by His mercy that I am being transformed.

     Speaking of having it all together, I really had a hard time studying Proverbs 31. The woman described is beyond amazing and my initial response was to feel like a total failure. If this passage is reflecting the model woman, than I am certainly not in that category.  However, I serve a God who is full of hope, not condemnation, so I know that I need to keep moving forward in His grace.  He doesn't want me to stand helpless or feeling like a failure, or even worse becoming idle and complacent about God's Word.  So why did God give us this passage and what can we learn from it?
    
      I was challenged by some of the attitudes and characteristics of this woman.  While the tasks that she does are very important too, I feel like her attitudes are what I would like to discuss today.  Here is a general list of some of the attitudes of the woman that I observed while reading Proverbs 31.

* delightful when working with her hands (vs. 13)
* strong (vs. 17)
* Not afraid (vs. 21)
* clothed with dignity and strength (vs. 25)
* smiles at the future (vs. 25)
* wise (vs. 26)
* teaching of kindness (vs. 26) ---also refer to yesterday's post :)
* not idle (vs. 27)
* fears the Lord (vs. 30)

      I liked this list, because I found it helpful to go through each characteristic and examine my own life.  I would really like to do a more in depth study on this whole passage, but I am going to stay a bit more narrowly focused for today.  I really loved some of the actions of this woman from Proverbs 31 as well (ex. extending her hands to the needy and poor, etc.), but I think that will have to be another post some time :) 
    
     In applying this to my life, I found that I am not always delightful when it comes to the work that I do.  Some days, I just want to be doing something different, or feel like I have a rewarding career where I am making lots of money.  Sometimes I think the grass is greener on the other side. I wonder what it would look like to be delighted with the everyday tasks like washing dishes, endless loads of laundry, cooking meals, cleaning them up, changing diapers.  What kind of example would that be to my children if they saw me full of joy and delight about the work God has given me?  What if they experienced my joy in the mundane everyday things?  What would it be like for my husband to come home and find me a delightful person to be around........not someone who is being controlling, nagging, or complaining?  What would it be like for my family to observe delight when we are working together to serve others?   For me, I genenerally struggle with my attitude more in the wintertime.... I have to admit.  I am tired of feeling inactive. I miss the sunshine and the warm breeze and even mowing the grass.  I get tired of feeling cooped up in our house with no way to burn off energy.  After reading this passage, though, I am wanting Jesus to show me what it would look like to be delighted with this work He has given me, even if it is in the middle of winter.  I want to lay aside my excuses and selfishness and am praying for a delightful heart and delightful hands.

     Yesterday's post was written about the characteristic of teaching with kindness.  I will not expound on that anymore today, but I am seeing that this characteristic goes hand in hand with having a delightful attitude.  I really like a comment that a friend Nikki left on my post from yesterday.  She reminded me of a quote we both heard at a conference last year...."Children are souls to be nurtured, not products to be measured."  I have been thinking about this a lot today and I feel like having that mindset will help me to teach with kindness and delight; not out of fear that I am not keeping up with the world's standards or trying to impress someone.  It encourages me to stand accountable to the Lord alone, and nurture my children in a way that pleases Him. 

      Finally, another characteristic that challenged me personally was about the "fear of the Lord" (vs. 30).  This characteristic seems to be of highest importance.  I wonder if any other characteristic that was mentioned in Proverbs 31 would be possible, unless the woman was living in total respect and dependence on the Lord.   What am I sometimes fearing more than I fear the Lord?  Am I worried about other's opinions of me?   Am I seeking to please man or to please God? 

      I have been personally challenged by some of these attitudes that I don't always display in my life. I want to make sure it is clear that I don't believe that having these characterisctics are required for salavation.  I know that Jesus saved me by His own works, not anything I have done.  I don't ever want to add to the gospel.  I know that Paul wrote in Galatians, that "I have been crucified with Christ.  It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.  And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the son of God who loved me and gave himself for me."  I don't want to make anyone feel like they have to earn their relationship with God by works.  That is not the gospel.  Now that the gospel has been revealed to me, I want to obey God out of my love for Him. 
  
     I hope that maybe some of you can relate to what I have shared and that maybe you feel challenged, strengthened, or encouraged in your life's journey. 
    
  
    
   

Wednesdays in the Word: The role of man

    
      This week, I am studying the role of a man, from Kay Arthur's precept In and Out study, " A Marriage Without Regrets". I think it is going to be difficult for me to actually write this blog post today because I am obviously not a man. However, I am married to a man, and am "one flesh" with that man, so I have some biblical reponsibilities to support him in the great role and responsibility that he has. I am going to discuss my perspective on the role of a man woman, and more specifically how I can support him in his role.
     I have been studying several stories from the Old Testament this week, specifically the account of "The Fall in The Garden" from Genesis 3 and also Abraham and Sarah's relationship throughout several places in Genesis. I had never thought of the parallel between the two events before: Eve telling Adam to eat the apple and Sarah telling Abraham to sleep with Hagar, her servant. In both instances, the wife was giving advice to her husband (in a somewhat controlling way) and the husband followed the wife's advice instead of submitting first to the Lord. There is also an example that seems to contradict the other examples from Genesis 21:8-13, where the Lord actually tells Abraham to follow Sarah's advice.   I think the point is not that men shouldn't follow the advice and or words of their wives........but their first priority is to be in line with the will and ways of God.  
      The roles of men and women have been revealed to me in greater depth through this week's study. The husband has a huge responsibility placed on him of first and foremost submitting to the Lord in all things, as well as the other roles of providing for his family, nurturing, caring, and providing unconditional love to his wife. The believing husband's relationship to his wife is designed to reflect Christ's relationship with the church. We haven't even discussed the role of man as a father yet, but that will add another important layer of responsibility to the man.
      With all this in mind, what does it mean for me? I think the answer lies in something I wrote in my blog last week. Submission was the topic I covered last week and I gave a list of what that looks like from a biblical perspective. In order to fully support my husband in the huge role that God has given him, I need to keep on submitting with a quiet and gentle spirit (which believe it or not, does not come naturally to me), an attitude of respect, and not trying to control things. I need to continually seek to serve my husband and find favor with the Lord in this way. This can't be done on my own though.....only though the power of the Holy Spirit in my inner being (Eph. 3:16)
     It's not about my feelings or happiness and bliss in our marriage. I do believe when we are living in a marriage the way God designed for it to work, we will experience blessings and happy times. But I also feel like this is going to take work and a constant submitting of myself and my selfishness to my Father in heaven as well as to my husband. I am looking forward to digging in deeper in the coming weeks and finding out some specific applications and things that the Lord can change in my heart and in my life. 
     I am so thankful beyond words for the gospel, which is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes (Rom 1:16).  I am thankful that God loves me and did the work of salvation for me......not anything I could've done on my own.  I am thankful that in him we have, "redemption throuh his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with he riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding." (Eph 1:7-8)  I am saved by grace, but out of love for God, I desire to have a marriage that models Him and finds His favor.
      

Glimpses of our day

Here is a glimpse of my children's happy faces today, as we are snowed in once more (iced in might be more like it).  I love it how they are completely joyful, happy, and carefree.  They don't care that we are spending another day in the house.  I love their attitudes.  In these pictures, they are taking turns playing the keyboard (thanks again Jonelle.......you have provided us with hours and hours of entertainment) and dancing with each other. 

Here is one glimpse of our backyard from the ice storm last night.  I am guessing that many of your backyards have the same appearance.  I am so thankful that we have electric in our house and that nothing appears to be greatly damaged.  The Lord's power is amazing when witnessed through the extreme weather elements.

     The final glimpse I will leave you with today, is from my current Bible study by Kay Arthur, called "A Marriage Without Regrets".  My husband and I are doing this study with our small group from our church.  We have only been studying this for three weeks now and it has been transforming to inductively study God's Word on the topic of marriage.  This week, I have been particularly grateful for learning more about my role as a woman, and specifically as a wife.  I just wanted to share what I have learned about what submission means after studying Christ's example of submission and also from studying 1 Peter 2:18-3:6, as well as Titus 2:3-5. 

This is the list I came up with about what submission really means:

* may involve suffering

* done out of obedience to the Lord, not for my personal happiness or to change my husband

* it involves a quiet and gentle spirit- no threats, reviling words, deceit or manipulation

* it requires respectful behavior to my husband

* involves entrusting myself, my husband, and our kids to the Lord and not trying to control things in my own way

* it finds favor with God, it is precious in His sight. 

I have a lot to learn in actually applying this, but I know through the Spirit within me, this is possible.   If anyone has any good suggestions or things they have learned personally in the area of submission, I would love to hear from you!!  I am excited to continue this study and share glimpses with you of what God is teaching me.